"Ah, but these weren't the dynamically typed languages you were looking for."
That's always the problem with ranting and IT. Usually turns out the thing you were ranting about is based on personal false premises. Perhaps should re-word "What surprises me is the BigCo isn't focused on fulfilling my, and only my, needs..." ;)
And it seems I can eat my own words (and do so happily);
http://news.zdnet.com/2100-3513_22-5589559.html "Big Blue backs PHP for Web development"
Although that's PHP specific the statements that stand out (given this is position-defining PR);
Rod Smith, IBM's vice president of emerging technology:
"We've got ideas for improving things
the simplicity of PHP is one of its greatest assets
We're in a better position to look at a language that fits people's background and what they want to accomplish, rather than saying everything has to be written in one particular language that scales from easy-to-use to high-performance systems"